[this got so much more embarrassing so, so quickly.
he can see the flush of heung soo's cheeks when his eyes open, and he can feel how hot his ears are. his heart is pounding hard—part from the residual spike in adrenaline from heung soo returning, part because he had been in the midst of an anxiety fueled breakdown, and part because this bastard is... well, this bastard.
even at their most awkward, he seems to always know the right things to do. he always knows how to calm nam soon down, and how to put his worries at ease. even if heung soo was the cause of nearly every worry he's ever had over the last ten years, that guy is always so good at reversing it. but in this position, it just feels... well, embarrassing.
his gaze averts, looking down rather than up. it's not shame or regret—nam soon definitely has no regrets about this when heung soo is really the only person who matters to him of such a large scale. but they're not normally this way. nam soon had barely even considered kissing girls (not since before That Day, since nothing else mattered after that), let alone this. and even though they'd made their agreements and lived comfortably after their first questionable encounter... it's new. heung soo isn't a romantic, but neither is nam soon. they're two clueless boys trying to fumble through existence together, because it's the only way they really know how. and at that? they still really don't know. neither of them know the real boundaries or how far it'll take them.
and dramas definitely couldn't prepare them for this. they're too formulaic, with carefully crafted kisses between cute, dressed-down girl and men that were too impossibly tall and attractive to be real; they were an idealized situation where their conflicts came from stupidity and a lack of honesty, not from completely ruining the life of the person most important to you by destroying their dreams. real life... it's a lot more complicated than what's on tv, so knowing how to proceed is harder. especially when everything about what they're doing is something that may not be seen on tv for a long time to come, not when even entertaining the notion can making the ratings drop.
so he stands, awkwardly and still sniffling back the remainder of his tears. at least he's not actually crying, even if his cheeks are still stained and his eyes are red and puffy. he lets out a huff of air; it's not quite a sigh. it's something softer, but feigning the exasperation (weakly) that he normally would use.]
Aigoo... this bold bastard... [weakly, because he's tired. but there's still something warm about, something with the barest, but most grateful hints of affection. it was bold, but nam soon is the kind of person who needs that sort of abrupt shock to be reminded of the things that matter—like the fact that heung soo is here and not leaving.]
no subject
he can see the flush of heung soo's cheeks when his eyes open, and he can feel how hot his ears are. his heart is pounding hard—part from the residual spike in adrenaline from heung soo returning, part because he had been in the midst of an anxiety fueled breakdown, and part because this bastard is... well, this bastard.
even at their most awkward, he seems to always know the right things to do. he always knows how to calm nam soon down, and how to put his worries at ease. even if heung soo was the cause of nearly every worry he's ever had over the last ten years, that guy is always so good at reversing it. but in this position, it just feels... well, embarrassing.
his gaze averts, looking down rather than up. it's not shame or regret—nam soon definitely has no regrets about this when heung soo is really the only person who matters to him of such a large scale. but they're not normally this way. nam soon had barely even considered kissing girls (not since before That Day, since nothing else mattered after that), let alone this. and even though they'd made their agreements and lived comfortably after their first questionable encounter... it's new. heung soo isn't a romantic, but neither is nam soon. they're two clueless boys trying to fumble through existence together, because it's the only way they really know how. and at that? they still really don't know. neither of them know the real boundaries or how far it'll take them.
and dramas definitely couldn't prepare them for this. they're too formulaic, with carefully crafted kisses between cute, dressed-down girl and men that were too impossibly tall and attractive to be real; they were an idealized situation where their conflicts came from stupidity and a lack of honesty, not from completely ruining the life of the person most important to you by destroying their dreams. real life... it's a lot more complicated than what's on tv, so knowing how to proceed is harder. especially when everything about what they're doing is something that may not be seen on tv for a long time to come, not when even entertaining the notion can making the ratings drop.
so he stands, awkwardly and still sniffling back the remainder of his tears. at least he's not actually crying, even if his cheeks are still stained and his eyes are red and puffy. he lets out a huff of air; it's not quite a sigh. it's something softer, but feigning the exasperation (weakly) that he normally would use.]
Aigoo... this bold bastard... [weakly, because he's tired. but there's still something warm about, something with the barest, but most grateful hints of affection. it was bold, but nam soon is the kind of person who needs that sort of abrupt shock to be reminded of the things that matter—like the fact that heung soo is here and not leaving.]