[as much as letting go at all right now isn't exactly something nam soon wants to do, he can understand what heung soo is trying to do. and maybe it's because of that small and constant contact that winds up putting him a little more at ease over it, but nam soon doesn't tense up at all or cling when he can feel that. instead, he draws in a quiet breath, wiping away and of the remaining moisture from his eyes and sniffling again.
maybe sometime this century, he'll be able to breathe quietly through his nose again, but right now, that's kind of a lost cause. but stil, he follows heung soo's guidance, much like a kid who really needs it right now. because he is that kid and he does need it. even if so much else between them has grown up, even if some of their coping mechanisms are much more adult (sharing kisses? drowning sorrows in soju?), there are still the bits and pieces of him that are desperate and childlike; frozen in time from the day of that funeral until now. that's why he reacts much the same as he did back then, listening to what heung soo tells him to do without any real argument.
those thoughts don't leave his head, just like the feeling of heung soo's lips against his own still hasn't subsided. even as he sits, his ears are still about as red as they can possibly get, and his eyes are following every last movement of heung soo's right now. still, for as embarrassed and upset as he is about everything, there's that part of him that's incredibly relieved and happy. he's relieved that heung soo isn't leaving, that whatever weird things have happened don't actually hinder the way they need each other, even when they're trying to figure out what comes next and how to deal with these new (or newly realized, maybe) feelings.
but he's happy. he's happy because heung soo is here. he's here and he's tangible. he's here, and he's making sure that nam soon is okay. he's here, and for all of his griping whenever nam soon brings up ramen, it's the first thing he offers to make when taking the reins in the kitchen. it brings just the smallest hint of a smile to his lips, one that barely even shows the upturn in the corners of his mouth. it's small and coy, definitely embarrassed... but genuine.]
Mm. There should be kimchi in the fridge drawer, too. [normally, he'd get up and help to set up... but he can hardly even move because of how weak his body is. besides that, he knows all too well heung soo will probably just scold him like a naggy mom for trying anyway.
it's cool though, because he's just going to watch... heung soo... the whole time. oops.]
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maybe sometime this century, he'll be able to breathe quietly through his nose again, but right now, that's kind of a lost cause. but stil, he follows heung soo's guidance, much like a kid who really needs it right now. because he is that kid and he does need it. even if so much else between them has grown up, even if some of their coping mechanisms are much more adult (sharing kisses? drowning sorrows in soju?), there are still the bits and pieces of him that are desperate and childlike; frozen in time from the day of that funeral until now. that's why he reacts much the same as he did back then, listening to what heung soo tells him to do without any real argument.
those thoughts don't leave his head, just like the feeling of heung soo's lips against his own still hasn't subsided. even as he sits, his ears are still about as red as they can possibly get, and his eyes are following every last movement of heung soo's right now. still, for as embarrassed and upset as he is about everything, there's that part of him that's incredibly relieved and happy. he's relieved that heung soo isn't leaving, that whatever weird things have happened don't actually hinder the way they need each other, even when they're trying to figure out what comes next and how to deal with these new (or newly realized, maybe) feelings.
but he's happy. he's happy because heung soo is here. he's here and he's tangible. he's here, and he's making sure that nam soon is okay. he's here, and for all of his griping whenever nam soon brings up ramen, it's the first thing he offers to make when taking the reins in the kitchen. it brings just the smallest hint of a smile to his lips, one that barely even shows the upturn in the corners of his mouth. it's small and coy, definitely embarrassed... but genuine.]
Mm. There should be kimchi in the fridge drawer, too. [normally, he'd get up and help to set up... but he can hardly even move because of how weak his body is. besides that, he knows all too well heung soo will probably just scold him like a naggy mom for trying anyway.
it's cool though, because he's just going to watch... heung soo... the whole time. oops.]