[ He'll at least concede on the fact that Nam Soon didn't change in the end. Heung Soo didn't realise it at first. Maybe since he had been too caught up in his good memories of their early teenage years together where they laughed and ran around and Nam Soon smiled all the time. Not always good smiles, necessarily, but he had been so happy - they both had been. So to see that all gone, to see an empty shell left behind that was pretending to be something he wasn't, without Heung Soo there.. it had distracted him from the fact entirely. He had been so mad that he didn't recognize that it was the same Nam Soon as always. The Nam Soon who cried on him about his mother and was unable to stop. The Nam Soon who he threw a blanket over when the guy passed out at this house again. The Nam Soon who yelled as he beat up some guys who didn't listen. The Nam Soon who sat at the window seat, his head dropped on the desk, sleeping.
All of them had been the same all along. He just never saw until they reconciled - and especially now.
But the other point.. that's not true. Even if there were things that Nam Soon should have done that he didn't, it's still not true. Sure, Heung Soo had wished that Nam Soon was there more than anything when he was stuck in that hospital and could do nothing but stare at the ceiling as his heart sunk further and further away in his chest. He should have been there then, and he should have been there when it was Heung Soo who had to stand at his mother's funeral, when there hadn't been anyone to come drag him back when he couldn't bear it anymore by the time everyone left. Sure, his sister had been there, but he knew that Noona had enough on her mind. It was her mother as well, after all, and since she was older, she had a lot more to do with the arranging part than Heung Soo himself. But there hadn't been a friend running back for him at the last moment to tell him that it was okay, that he was right there for him, that he wouldn't leave. Even now, that day feels like a void.
But to say that means Nam Soon did nothing for him.. that's not true. If Nam Soon didn't do anything for him, then why would he ever have missed his best friend so violently every single day, to a point where he couldn't help but keep beating up people himself in an attempt to feel even a little bit better?
It's since - since he needs Nam Soon too. Maybe not as much as Nam Soon needs him, maybe since there's less of a complex about it, but he does need his best friend. Without him everything feels like shit, and he doesn't even want to imagine being stuck here without him. ]
Who ever said that, you bastard?
[ He doesn't look at the other, instead just alternating between staring ahead of him and at his bowl, even as the chopsticks rest in his hand for a moment. ]
It's just enough that you're you. [ Because it's what makes Heung Soo the happiest. Just being with Nam Soon, messing around with him, taking care of him, or just sitting there quietly.. it's warm, it's happier than anything he was able to feel in those three years they were apart. Even now, when their friendship (if a word like that can still fit all of it in, even) has taken this turn with the kissing and all.. it still feels the same. It still is the thing that could make him the happiest. ] Don't think you need to do something big for me.
[ Because he doesn't need it. Other than the moments after the incident when he just really wished Nam Soon was there, there for him, right there with him.. other than that, there's never really anything he wanted from his best friend.
Other than to just be with him.
It's probably why his words are a little more quiet near the end. It's embarrassing, but he can't not say them right now either when Nam Soon is voicing thoughts like that. ]
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All of them had been the same all along. He just never saw until they reconciled - and especially now.
But the other point.. that's not true. Even if there were things that Nam Soon should have done that he didn't, it's still not true. Sure, Heung Soo had wished that Nam Soon was there more than anything when he was stuck in that hospital and could do nothing but stare at the ceiling as his heart sunk further and further away in his chest. He should have been there then, and he should have been there when it was Heung Soo who had to stand at his mother's funeral, when there hadn't been anyone to come drag him back when he couldn't bear it anymore by the time everyone left. Sure, his sister had been there, but he knew that Noona had enough on her mind. It was her mother as well, after all, and since she was older, she had a lot more to do with the arranging part than Heung Soo himself. But there hadn't been a friend running back for him at the last moment to tell him that it was okay, that he was right there for him, that he wouldn't leave. Even now, that day feels like a void.
But to say that means Nam Soon did nothing for him.. that's not true. If Nam Soon didn't do anything for him, then why would he ever have missed his best friend so violently every single day, to a point where he couldn't help but keep beating up people himself in an attempt to feel even a little bit better?
It's since - since he needs Nam Soon too. Maybe not as much as Nam Soon needs him, maybe since there's less of a complex about it, but he does need his best friend. Without him everything feels like shit, and he doesn't even want to imagine being stuck here without him. ]
Who ever said that, you bastard?
[ He doesn't look at the other, instead just alternating between staring ahead of him and at his bowl, even as the chopsticks rest in his hand for a moment. ]
It's just enough that you're you. [ Because it's what makes Heung Soo the happiest. Just being with Nam Soon, messing around with him, taking care of him, or just sitting there quietly.. it's warm, it's happier than anything he was able to feel in those three years they were apart. Even now, when their friendship (if a word like that can still fit all of it in, even) has taken this turn with the kissing and all.. it still feels the same. It still is the thing that could make him the happiest. ] Don't think you need to do something big for me.
[ Because he doesn't need it. Other than the moments after the incident when he just really wished Nam Soon was there, there for him, right there with him.. other than that, there's never really anything he wanted from his best friend.
Other than to just be with him.
It's probably why his words are a little more quiet near the end. It's embarrassing, but he can't not say them right now either when Nam Soon is voicing thoughts like that. ]