[ He knows the first part isn't a question - he knows that Nam Soon knows, of course he does, he's been through exactly the same thing so of course he understands this sort of thing even better than Heung Soo himself does. At least it means he doesn't have to answer that much, but then the next part follows and is a lot harder to just swallow.
Mostly since he knows his best friend is right. He should just have called him the first night when he was lying here and couldn't do anything but toss and turn all night - did he even sleep that night? It all just feels like a weird haze by now, drowned out by the feeling of uncertaincy and guilt that still eats at him in the back of his mind knowing there's a big chance that what they were told on the first day is just true. It's been days and this place is just as weird as it was the first day, after all.
He should just have done this the first night. Because the reason he mostly got so mad and bitter at Nam Soon was that he ran away from him instead of facing him head on when he needed it the most. When both of them needed it the most, he turned and ran and left Heung Soo alone in that empty hospital room.
But he didn't. Why? Maybe he's still not entirely used to being able to rely on Nam Soon again, even if they did work at least some things out already back home, a small start of working through their heaps and heaps of issues. Maybe he didn't want to seem pathetic, being unable to deal with something the other had been experiencing for so long.
Maybe, maybe.. honestly, he doesn't feel like sorting out the reason to himself right now. It doesn't matter anymore, anyway, other than that nagging feeling tugging on his mind that Nam Soon is right. The reason doesn't matter since he did call him now instead of dragging their issues out as they're so prone to doing.
He glances over his shoulder at the boy lying there, and lets a slow breath escape through his nose. His eyes close for a moment and he shakes his head as if in exasperation before he opens them again. ]
And let you take over my bed right away? [ He starts to turn, lightly shoving Nam Soon to force him to lie on his back again. ] Move, you lazy bastard.
[ Mostly so Heung Soo can move to actually lie down on the bed as well, right next to his best friend, both on their backs. Sure, the bed is a lot less spacious than how they used to lie sprawled out, but it's not like he's ever really minded his skinship with Nam Soon. It's not like he's going to start doing so now with the two of them lying there with shoulders touching.
And honestly, it already feels a lot better. More natural. It's not like he's sure just what about Nam Soon's presence it is that calms him down instantly, but it just does, despite the circumstances going far over their heads.
It's only then, as they're lying there together in silence for a moment and both staring up at the ceiling that he slowly speaks up again. ]
.. If I called you the first night, you just would've shown up to do this every night. [ It's not really said as if that's a problem or even remotely troublesome, though.. it's more just like Heung Soo's stating a fact. He knows the other well enough to realise this much - if Nam Soon knew he was feeling uncomfortable, then he'd just continue doing the same thing over and over if it would make Heung Soo feel better. ]
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Mostly since he knows his best friend is right. He should just have called him the first night when he was lying here and couldn't do anything but toss and turn all night - did he even sleep that night? It all just feels like a weird haze by now, drowned out by the feeling of uncertaincy and guilt that still eats at him in the back of his mind knowing there's a big chance that what they were told on the first day is just true. It's been days and this place is just as weird as it was the first day, after all.
He should just have done this the first night. Because the reason he mostly got so mad and bitter at Nam Soon was that he ran away from him instead of facing him head on when he needed it the most. When both of them needed it the most, he turned and ran and left Heung Soo alone in that empty hospital room.
But he didn't. Why? Maybe he's still not entirely used to being able to rely on Nam Soon again, even if they did work at least some things out already back home, a small start of working through their heaps and heaps of issues. Maybe he didn't want to seem pathetic, being unable to deal with something the other had been experiencing for so long.
Maybe, maybe.. honestly, he doesn't feel like sorting out the reason to himself right now. It doesn't matter anymore, anyway, other than that nagging feeling tugging on his mind that Nam Soon is right. The reason doesn't matter since he did call him now instead of dragging their issues out as they're so prone to doing.
He glances over his shoulder at the boy lying there, and lets a slow breath escape through his nose. His eyes close for a moment and he shakes his head as if in exasperation before he opens them again. ]
And let you take over my bed right away? [ He starts to turn, lightly shoving Nam Soon to force him to lie on his back again. ] Move, you lazy bastard.
[ Mostly so Heung Soo can move to actually lie down on the bed as well, right next to his best friend, both on their backs. Sure, the bed is a lot less spacious than how they used to lie sprawled out, but it's not like he's ever really minded his skinship with Nam Soon. It's not like he's going to start doing so now with the two of them lying there with shoulders touching.
And honestly, it already feels a lot better. More natural. It's not like he's sure just what about Nam Soon's presence it is that calms him down instantly, but it just does, despite the circumstances going far over their heads.
It's only then, as they're lying there together in silence for a moment and both staring up at the ceiling that he slowly speaks up again. ]
.. If I called you the first night, you just would've shown up to do this every night. [ It's not really said as if that's a problem or even remotely troublesome, though.. it's more just like Heung Soo's stating a fact. He knows the other well enough to realise this much - if Nam Soon knew he was feeling uncomfortable, then he'd just continue doing the same thing over and over if it would make Heung Soo feel better. ]