[ What comes next.. well, that's the hardest part. Even if Nam Soon doesn't say it out loud, he knows just as well what the next part is.. it's what happened between the two of them, and what they feel about it, and how they're going to file it away.
Which is, admittantly, even harder than making Nam Soon stop avoiding and dodging things as a way of coping for once. If not just because he's still not sure about it either. It's nothing he thought about, nothing that crossed his mind - not with Nam Soon, but surely never really with girls or.. well, anything normal either, it just had never been a concern of his. But he also knows that he didn't dislike the feeling. How much of that was the effects of whatever had gotten into them and how much it were his own feelings.. he can't be sure about that.
.. he does know though that the message on the CereVice pissed him off. Even though it was just dumb spam. Because, after that, after everything in their friendship, the idea of Nam Soon doing that stuff with some girl..
It feels awkward, somehow. It annoys him, somehow. Isn't that how this conversation started to begin with? ]
.. like you said. This place screwed with our heads. [ It's an undeniable fact that something else was driving them, like some sort of haze. That's the easy part, it's just a fact. The hard part is admitting just how much may have been their own emotions - or rather, the hard part is realising just what part of it was more something coming from them personally. ] It's awkward.
But...
[ God, why is he the one who has to do this. It's not like either of them are good at it, but he's not the one who can be all embarrassing and write a poem saying he wants to eat ramen and then look all happy when the other writes the same?! He's just not good at admitting it first, so it doesn't come out easily when he has to figure out both a way to not make it sound too embarrassing and a way that makes sense with what he feels. As far as he can figure that out, anyway. ]
... I don't regret it. I guess.
[ It's hard to puzzle his feelings together, but he thinks that's right. Probably. He feels awkward looking back on it, since it's not supposed to be normal, since he never even imagined anything like that with Nam Soon, no matter how important the other is to him.
But he doesn't feel bad about it. He doesn't find himself thinking back on it and hating it or even disliking it. Being that close with Nam Soon, even if it was in a more extreme fashion than usually.. it wasn't too bad, even if it's awkward trying to come to terms with that fact. ]
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Which is, admittantly, even harder than making Nam Soon stop avoiding and dodging things as a way of coping for once. If not just because he's still not sure about it either. It's nothing he thought about, nothing that crossed his mind - not with Nam Soon, but surely never really with girls or.. well, anything normal either, it just had never been a concern of his. But he also knows that he didn't dislike the feeling. How much of that was the effects of whatever had gotten into them and how much it were his own feelings.. he can't be sure about that.
.. he does know though that the message on the CereVice pissed him off. Even though it was just dumb spam. Because, after that, after everything in their friendship, the idea of Nam Soon doing that stuff with some girl..
It feels awkward, somehow. It annoys him, somehow. Isn't that how this conversation started to begin with? ]
.. like you said. This place screwed with our heads. [ It's an undeniable fact that something else was driving them, like some sort of haze. That's the easy part, it's just a fact. The hard part is admitting just how much may have been their own emotions - or rather, the hard part is realising just what part of it was more something coming from them personally. ] It's awkward.
But...
[ God, why is he the one who has to do this. It's not like either of them are good at it, but he's not the one who can be all embarrassing and write a poem saying he wants to eat ramen and then look all happy when the other writes the same?! He's just not good at admitting it first, so it doesn't come out easily when he has to figure out both a way to not make it sound too embarrassing and a way that makes sense with what he feels. As far as he can figure that out, anyway. ]
... I don't regret it. I guess.
[ It's hard to puzzle his feelings together, but he thinks that's right. Probably. He feels awkward looking back on it, since it's not supposed to be normal, since he never even imagined anything like that with Nam Soon, no matter how important the other is to him.
But he doesn't feel bad about it. He doesn't find himself thinking back on it and hating it or even disliking it. Being that close with Nam Soon, even if it was in a more extreme fashion than usually.. it wasn't too bad, even if it's awkward trying to come to terms with that fact. ]