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[ Even if Nam Soon doesn't specify, Heung Soo knows exactly what he's talking about. He's been called a meddlesome bastard enough times in the past, after all, and even without that he'd have enough self-knowledge to understand his friend means him. He can't deny it, anyway - he's always been that way, especially when it comes to Nam Soon. Because he'd turned into such a troublemaker in the past, and although Heung Soo more often went along with it than not, he was still looking out for his best friend the entire way. Making trouble was okay, but up to a certain point - if there was anything that threatened the other guy to get in too serious trouble, or if he ever snapped too far, Heung Soo always made sure to pull him back, whether it was physically or with his words or by literally bailing him out of trouble.

He couldn't help but always look after the other guy, because.. well, god knows Nam Soon needed it, especially without any real parent or other family there. Even now he probably still needs it, even if the roles ended up being reversed today with that bastard being the one to have to come over and comfort him. Because apparently his attitude rubbed off on him - but he's just glad for that. Heung Soo would be the person to deny to the ends of time that Nam Soon is just a bad person, or just good for nothing. Even back when he was at his worst, even when he broke his leg.. he never thought of Nam Soon as a bad person. Sure, he was mad at him, but it was more for abandoning him than anything else.

(Sure, the ways Nam Soon in turn rubbed off on him aren't all the most positive - his sister had complained enough times about what a good kid he had been until he got involved with Nam Soon's activities in middle school, but he doesn't really think about it much. He doesn't really care, he's never really cared in the past, as long as he can be by this bastard's side.)

The guy groans, shifting a little. ]

I'll have to go back in time just to tell that punk to cut it out before he gives me so much trouble. [ Of course he doesn't really mean a word of it, it's just the way they deal with these things - the fake exasperation.

Besides, he has to admit that this is a lot more comfortable. Sure, it doesn't take away the problems they're facing, or the fact that everyone they know is just.. gone, dead, but the feeling of the other's body warmth next to him is a tangible reminder that he's at least not alone, that at least the thing most important to him is still right there. He almost wants to thank the other, show what it means to him, but they've always both just been bad at it. So instead he just lets it hang in the air for a moment as they sink back into silence.

When he does speak up, it's a little about something else. ]

.. Do you think we'll just have to live like this? [ At first he thought maybe it was a dream, or maybe it's a prank and will all end soon.. but it's been days and the situation is still weird as hell. Everyone is still gone, this place is still more anime than anything he's ever seen, he's still in an apartment that's strange to him.. and he's not sure what even they with all their reckless determination could do about it.

It feels like something much bigger than either of them. ]

[it doesn't really matter much that heung soo lets the topic drop with little fanfare — nam soon doesn't need it anyway.

sure, in some way, it'd be nice to hear a "thanks," but considering how little he normally deserved things like that (especially coming from heung soo, who really has little reason to thank nam soon ever), but it isn't really necessary to him. words don't really mean very much; nam soon knows the truth of the matter anyway. some things don't necessarily need to be spoken to be conveyed, after all. heung soo engaged him first, he opened the door, and now they were laying there next to each other like old times (or at least, trying to make it feel more like that). that's enough, isn't it? enough for him to know that much.

the situation made heung soo uncomfortable. being alone, in a strange new place, without their normal comforts and things to fall back on. does he really have to voice aloud his appreciation for the few things that can be unchanged. they say that the more things change, the more they stay the same. maybe this was one of those cases, nam soon thinks. he can let it sit this way, and then tease after daybreak about "what an unappreciative bastard" his friend is.

even if it's the furthest thing from the truth.

because that's just how they are. it's how they always were, and honestly, how nam soon hopes they always will be. two guys that are truly the worst at expressing how they feel until everything explodes emotionally, covering up all those little issues like bandaids and patchwork in the form of snark and chiding. some probably couldn't tell, if they overheard, whether or not the two were even friends. the gazes they exchange sometimes look so vicious and uncaring to those not in the know, after all.

but that's just how they cope. and really, how they'll continue to go on and move forward in light of everything going on around them.]

Do we have much of a choice? [he responds with a sigh, one that's heavy. it's equal parts exasperation and the genuine weight of the circumstances that carries through as nam soon lifts his head slightly before letting it fall back against his arm.] It's not like we have some other way to live.

Yeah? Two useless punks like us.

[ His tone suggests that he doesn't mean it as seriously as either of them have doubtlessly considered themselves as that more than once - although maybe in slightly different ways - but more like what other people tend to call them, an echo of it. It seems like a bad joke, anyway, shoving the two of them into this place when there's so many people in the world who could have been saved instead. But instead they're here, doing.. well, pretty much nothing, just like back home.

But at least they're here together. It's the one saving grace of it all, really. After all, if Nam Soon hadn't been in this place as well, then how would he have coped with already feeling worse than he is now? At least now he could still call him over and have them lying together here so the same thoughts don't have to continue spiralling through his head (is noona okay, is she alive? is she aware of things? everyone else too, but of course she's always the one that comes to the forefront of his mind the easiest) while lying here by himself, staring up at the ceiling. ]

.. they haven't even told us what we can do about it yet. I can't stop thinking about it.

[ It's the closest that Heung Soo will come to revealing all his emotions or just how bad he feels about this mess, even though he's sure Nam Soon already knows - or understands instinctively, really. He's always been a little better at this sort of thing, after all, even if their years of seperation made him a whole lot more stoic and less forthcoming than he was before. ]

...If there's anything we can do about it at all.

[he mutters the words, and it's only after he says it that nam soon realizes his word choice is probably pretty poor for the circumstances. ways to make your best friend feel better: well, probably not that. unmoving, he winces at his own statement, letting out a quiet sigh.]

We can't do the things they do, I mean. [he backpedals a bit. though that is what nam soon meant to begin with, he still feels like he's backpedaling as to not snatch away any of heung soo's remaining hope for reuniting with his sister. he doesn't have any of that hope for himself, and honestly... the only reason he wants to have it is for heung soo's sake anyway. as tough as it is to know his friends, classmates and teachers are gone, it's not as if he thinks he'll have some lifelong bond with any of them. he can live without them. the one person he can't live without is laying right beside him...

so he doesn't really need that hope, not for himself. he wants to have it, but he doesn't — he won't voice that cynicism though, even if heung soo probably can sense it anyway.

he hates this.

he hates this a lot because there's absolutely nothing he can do but play a cheap distraction and be the moral support... something he isn't very good at, even when he wants to be.] We just have to... live, I guess.

[live well, like they're alive. this way, no matter what happens, at least the sacrifice of everyone else isn't totally wasted. they can't live like the shells of humans they were for three years, can they? even nam soon knows they have to persevere and try to find some way to live closer to what they used to, so their being saved wasn't branded some kind of shitty mistake. they've been afforded a single chance to right their wrongs, they can't squander it.]

[ Part of him almost flares up at the first things he hears from Nam Soon. Not even against Nam Soon or his cynicism, really, because deep down Heung Soo understands these things as well.. but more just against their circumstances. Against the fact that there's not a single thing he can do for his sister now, just like there wasn't a single thing he could do for his mother before she died either. There had been a time where he had thought he could actually mean something for his family, but now? Now that's long gone, a hope that's already died out. Now he can't even help them being the ones being saved rather than him.

But he doesn't. Because he knows it won't have any use, that there's no changing the situation, and that at least Nam Soon is here with him. Nam Soon is here, and he's the only important thing to him other than his family - probably even more important, since he knows his sister will get her own life, that they'll seperate more than they are now, but when it comes to the other guy, he doesn't want that sort of thing to ever happen.

Doesn't that mean there's just an easy solution to all of this though? Something that can at least make "just living" more bearable.

Heung Soo moves his arm to drop it over his eyes, letting out a long breath before he speaks up. ]

Just stay here then. [ "Move in", he means, but saying it this way is a little easier. It makes it sound lighter, like something simple. (Even if them sharing a living space together feels oddly natural, especially when there's no real reason keeping them apart - even the apartment itself is big enough.)

Lowering his arm and glancing to the side, over to where Nam Soon is lying-- ]

.. and don't say it's embarrassing, you bastard.

[ It's mostly insecurity speaking, really, even though he knows it's just their usual banter. But to him.. well, "just living" would be a lot easier if Nam Soon was at least there. Even with all the stuff they may still have to work through, it's the presence that can make him feel the most at ease - here or in any other place. And he doesn't really think Nam Soon would protest against the idea, but.. ]

The only one who sounds like they're gonna call it embarrassing is you.

[for a moment, nam soon remains positioned as is, quietly thoughtful on the matter. it's not a proposition he has any opposition to, after all. if anything, he'll be able to rest easier this way than he has since they arrived.

really, he never even wanted to room separately anyway; it seemed like a waste to nam soon that way. he's never liked sleeping in an empty home, and with all his worries about heung soo having to do just that. he's known not to push his boundaries while things were so uncertain though, so as much as nam soon's wanted to just call him and say "come over," or settle himself at heung soo's place like they are now... he's waited. how could he really call it embarrassing in that case? he's usually more embarrassed by other people than their own actions... even when it should be embarrassing.

like the ramen poem incident.

and much like in this case, nam soon can't really help the shit-eating grin that forms on his lips. there's something warm... even comforting, about knowing that heung soo wants it to be this way. even if he tries to make it sound like something casual and spontaneous, nam soon knows his friend well enough. hadn't they been vaguely headed in that direction back home, before all this started, anyway? they'd already decided they weren't going to let much split them up, and with the pending knowledge that heung soo's sister would be getting married sooner rather than later...

well, things were going to change anyway.

so with that smile wide on his lips, nam soon turns on his side to face heung soo. he uses a hand to prop his head up, elbow on the pillow.

...maybe he half-expects heung soo to hit him for that too, but he can't help himself. it's the little things like this that make the situation feel less stifling.]

[ And Nam Soon is spot on about all of that, really. Because despite the fact he's the one asking Nam Soon to not call it embarrassing, Heung Soo is in the end the one whose nose starts to wrinkle the moment he spots that huge smile staring right at him from the corner of his eye. He could have handled a normal kind of agreement, but the other is just so good at reacting with such an over the top (for their current standards, anyway) enthusiasm to these things that it does embarrass him. Exactly like the ramen poem incident, in fact. Even if there's no other people to see it now and even though he's deep down glad that his best friend actually seems pretty happy.. well, it's just still pretty embarrassing to be called out like that and have to endure that shit-eating smile at the same time.

It may be strange, but the idea of them staying together in an apartment bothers him - or, well, embarrasses him - a lot less than this particular moment when they're only just talking about the idea. Maybe because staying together with the one thing he does have left, the person most important to him, his best friend.. well, how could he possibly complain against that? ]

Only because you look that way, you dumb bastard. [ And at least that's the truth, even if it does fit in with their usual banter. It takes some time to get used to this kind of relative enthusiasm from a guy who was mostly just a rude thug at first and then an empty shell.

At least his current pouty kind of exasperation is very much rooted in embarrassment and it shows. Even when he idly moves his arm against Nam Soon's chest to try and push him away, almost like he's trying to get rid of some annoying buzzing bug. ]

[like an annoying, buzzing bug though, nam soon doesn't back off. even if he draws back for a moment, he retaliates by purposefully leaning in closer. his grin doesn't fade, either... if anything, it looks wider and even more amused by heung soo's extremely visible embarrassment.]

Aigoo, is it really that embarrassing? [he forces a bit of a pout, clearly trying to seem purposefully offended by what his best friend has to say. nam soon isn't really bothered by it, of course, and he knows heung soo will know that — and probably act even more irritated by the fact that he's doing this. it's something he feels he has to do, though.

the part about it that embarrasses nam soon is the fact that he goes so far over the top in a very deliberate way, and for a very deliberate reason. each moment spent like that is another where heung soo can keep his mind off the stressful situation they're in, as well as the crappy circumstances that are going to remain for as long as they can tell. he wants to do that much for his friend, for someone who has lost so much, so quickly. he knows what it's like, and the last thing he wants is any sort of situation where heung soo ends up in the spiral he'd been in for three years himself. somehow, that's more embarrassing to nam soon than being a ham about their living situation. they'd practically been on the verge of living together back in seoul, anyway... before all this happened.

he doesn't let it show though. not explicitly, at least, even if heung soo probably knows all that. nam soon will keep masking it by further embarrassing heung soo though, if that's what it takes to help them both find some kind of normalcy in a totally abnormal situation.]

[ Even if it goes unsaid - as a lot of things do - between the two of them, it's probably still something Heung Soo understands. He's pretty sure that a part of how embarrassing Nam Soon can be just comes naturally (that grin he showed after that stupid incident with the ramen poem can't have been faked or exaggerated fully, there was some kind of child-like enthusiasm in it that'd be hard to ever fake) but he's probably trying to lay it on thick for his sake. He sure didn't have to think long before coming over either, after all.

But these things are always easier to deal with if they just act like themselves.

After all, the one thing he doesn't tell Nam Soon right now, that goes unsaid from his side.. it's that Nam Soon wouldn't even have to try this hard. Just the other guy being there, that's enough for him to already feel better. Even when he felt so miserable after realising his soccer dreams were shot that he really just wanted to die.. he kept thinking that if only Nam Soon was there, if only he hadn't ran away, then he probably still would have been able to find some way to smile.

Now it's the same, even if smiling isn't something he's done a whole lot in a long time. Just Nam Soon being there makes him feel more at ease, reminds him that there's something so incredibly important to him right next to him, in tangible reach. No matter whether he's being embarrassing or not. ]

Let's see.. [ He sucks in an annoyed breath - maybe a little exaggerated too, but still - and starts counting on his fingers. ]

You'll fall asleep on top of all my stuff. You'll make me eat ramen every day. You're going to keep me up at night with embarrassing talk, apparently.

[ Nevermind that he was the one who asked for it to begin with.. sshh.. ]

.. Yeah. [ His hand drops back to the bed. ] That's definitely that embarrassing.

You never wake me up. You want to eat ramen just as much. You always answer when I talk to you, anyway.

[two can play at this game, after all. heung soo can raise all the arguments he wants, and while those points may be legitimate and true, it's still only one part of the equation. now, nam soon is definitely no math whiz, but he knows that you can't have a complete equation without both parts of it. it just won't add up.

especially because he knows this is a pile of bullshit concocted just for the sake of it. sure, that sort of teasing is essentially a natural part of their existence, and a huge aspect in how they cope with things... but it's just as fun and easy to refuse it and combat the logic.]

The way you deny things makes you just as embarrassing, you dumb bastard. [he heaves a dramatic sigh, but there's a smile still lingering on his lips. nam soon's going to just call it as he sees it until it comes back to bite him in the ass.

...which will probably be sooner, rather than later.]

[ Wow, he's not denying everything!!

Except he totally is, since it's just what Heung Soo does.. it's the easiest way of coping with his embarrassment over certain things, after all, just when he didn't want to reveal his poem at all when it turned out to be the same as Nam Soon's.

Although it goes a little beyond just embarrassment this time. He needs this familiar banter right now, he needs Nam Soon to harass him with that dumb embarrassing grin on his face.. since it's what keeps him from thinking too much about their situation, about the fact that his sister may be dead or at least in some weird limbo. Nam Soon is the only one who can even come remotely close to making him comfortable in this kind of shitty situation. With his words, their usual antics, his familiar body warmth so nearby. He just doesn't say those things out loud. Probably since he knows he doesn't have to.

So instead of admitting to him denying things or being embarrassing, he just frowns and clicks his tongue at the other. ]

Do you really think I could wake you up or ignore you when you talk to me? Aisssh, I'd get my ass kicked by Tsunami.

[ Of course he knows it's not the case, it's really just their banter. Even back when Nam Soon was that bad, he never hurt Heung Soo badly.. or, well, aside from that one incident that ruined both of their lives. But aside from that, he had always been able to get away with anything with Nam Soon. Even pulling him back while he was kicking the living shit out of someone to make sure he didn't go too far.. Nam Soon never really tried to stop him or make it clear to not do that again, no matter how harsh he may have been with others.

Still, Heung Soo is totally going to treat it like it's a real argument, and he shakes his head a little before rolling onto his side - in the kind of way that means Nam Soon will be looking at his back. ]

Aigoo, be careful what you wish for.

[for a moment, he holds up a fist. of course, there's no way nam soon would actually go tsunami on him... never again. if he does, it'll be because something somewhere went absolutely and terribly wrong, like he's totally lost his mind or control over his actions. it's not something he ever actually wants to do, though, that's for sure.

it's all pretty short-lived as heung soo rolls over and nam soon is left staring at his friend's back. big mistake, chingu. two can definitely play this game, and nam soon is also pitiful enough to make this work to his advantage. he scoots closer to heung soo, an arm draping over his body for a moment before shifting to grab his arm and shake it.]

Heung Soo-yah.... Heung Soo-yaaaah... [whining, pouting, and shaking heung soo is totally the way to turn this around, right?]

[ There's a short moment where Heung Soo doesn't react. Maybe he's foolishly hoping that his lack of reaction will make Nam Soon cut it out already, or maybe he's too busy thinking "why me, why this" or something along those lines..

But let's face it, none of this is a particularly weird occurrence in dealing with his best friend. So it's not like he's really annoyed (he probably could never be truly annoyed to a point where he's just angry when it comes to Nam Soon, anyway) but he can't help but let out a slow sigh anyway before slowly moving a little so he can glance at the other guy over his shoulder. ]

I'm slowly starting to think I should have texted weird hamburger guy instead to come keep me company.

[ Sorry, Naoi. Someone had to be the butt of the joke and Heung Soo sure wasn't planning on being it here. ]

Yah...

[he says it in the same whiny tone for a moment, still shaking heung soo as he had been.

well, for a moment at least. after that, he'll pull back... only to flick the back of heung soo's head with a little bit of force.]

Next thing I know, you'll be telling me you're gonna be a comedian, you dumb bastard. [there's a short pause before he adds, as if to playfully dig the knife in a little further:] You have a long way to go to catch up to Yoo Jae Suk.

[though is there really anyone on this earth who can do that? probably not, even nam soon recognizes the importance of the nation's mc.]

[ He winces at the direct hit to the back of the head before finally rolling back over to face the other again, frowning lightly. Maybe since he's trying to imagine himself in the nation's mc's place, all jumpy and cheerful...

.. yeah. No way in hell, right.

It's probably why he slowly clicks his tongue. ]

I thought that the upside of it would be that you'd fall asleep soon, you punk. Instead of saying all sorts of weird things.

[ Of course it's not that and rather that no one could ever put him at ease with a sheer presence the way Nam Soon could.. but this is a hell of a lot easier to say out loud than that. ]

[heung soo could never be that cheerful. he could probably give kookie a much less hilarious run for his money, though. what a mental image that would be.]

Calling me over here to go right to sleep... [okay, granted... it's happened before. and under normal circumstances, it's very well likely that nam soon would have flopped onto the bed and passed right now. but as much as they're trying to seek the normalcy they need, it's still not normal. he can't just go right to sleep until he knows heung soo's feeling a little better.

he likely is just from presence alone, but until nam soon can be sure, he's not going to submit to sleep yet.] Weird bastard. You wouldn't go to sleep that fast anyway...

Do you know just how many times in my life I've watched you fall asleep? Don't suddenly get conscious over it now.

[ It's true, anyway - with Nam Soon coming over to his place to sleep so often or with just his general napping habits lately, it would be extremely hard for Heung Soo to not have seen him falling asleep a lot.. especially before him, considering he's not nearly as much of a sloth as the other can be. He can't just put his head down somewhere and dooze off, okay, it requires actual effort.

Besides, there's another part to it, but that's much harder to say. But then again, he knows this bastard is just worrying about him now, so he probably has to say it to even convince him to go to sleep to begin with.

Even if it's going to cost him his dignity. Oh well, maybe he can just bring it in a roundabout enough kind of way.. ]

.. anyway, I like you better when you're quiet and sleeping, so hurry up already. [ What he actually means is "I feel more comfortable when you're sleeping near" but hah... actually saying that.. he knows Nam Soon would never ever let it go, so there's no way in hell he's doing that. ]

Aigoo, you say such embarrassing things....

[seriously, what guy says that to another guy? "do you know just how many times in my life i've watched you fall asleep." of course, it's amusing to nam soon, and it doesn't really bother him in the least...

mostly because he knows it's true. he's long since lost count of the number of times he rolled over on his side, only to have heung soo fix a blanket, fluff a pillow, or idly wish him a good sleep. heung soo hardly ever fell asleep before him, even back when nam soon wasn't a total sloth all the time. but he can't help but call it embarrassing, even if he doesn't necessarily feel embarrassed by it at all.

...then again, nam soon also knows heung soo's dignity is on the line, so he can't help but get his last digs in. whatever the circumstance, he can feel the way the tension in the room has lifted significantly — it's always like that with them, isn't it? as soon as they'd made their amends, the tension hardly ever stuck around, save for isolated incidents and moments. it's good though, because he wants heung soo to be able to relax after all they've dealt with these last few days. it can't really be pushed any further though, so for now? he'll comply, at least a bit.]

Fine, fine. Just don't watch me if you're gonna beg me to sleep. [he gets in that one last jab... fully knowing that heung soo will watch anyway. but nam soon does his part, rolling over onto his side, back to his friend.]

[ At least there won't be as much of a response to both of those statements. If not just because he knows arguing back (because he knows Nam Soon doesn't really find it that embarrassing considering how natural it is for the two of them, that bastard) will only stretch out things further. And with how little rest he's been getting the past few days, he does feel tired and wants to just sleep.. because he knows he'll be capable of it now with Nam Soon right there, even if it's still likely the other will fall asleep first.

Instead the only reaction is Heung Soo nudging his best friend with the foot of his good leg a little, as if to say "quit it" without words, and then he moves to click off the lamp near the bed to make darkness return to the room.

For a moment he stares at Nam Soon's back. Sleeping together on a bed like this still is a little embarrassing, deep down, but right now he can't find it in himself to mind it at all as long as he has the other's company. So instead, there's just a soft-- ]

Good night.

[ Before he settles in too. ]

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